Dating apps are fast becoming the alternative to conventional ways of dating (e.g. Meeting someone through mutual friends or dating someone at work/school). However, there are some who find themselves getting rejected or getting the cold shoulder when chatting up their prospective date without knowing what went wrong. Here are five reasons why some men like me have not been successful on dating apps.
- We Came on Too Strong
Contrary to what some local guys would believe, most Singaporean girls are still quite conservative in their mindset when it comes to serious dating. Coming on too strong at the start of a conversation would most likely make you sound like a desperate creep. Guys should learn to be patient and sincerely get to know the other person better first, and then things can go on from there.
- We Were Mass Spamming
Many guys would be lost in the sheer large number of dating profiles on dating apps. I used to think it was wise to craft some sort of generic greeting message and send them out to people I found attractive. But guess what? Females have good instincts and know when someone is not sincere enough. They can easily differentiate a mass-spammed message from a more sincere, one-to-one message, so it is always good to put in more thought and effort in the latter when approaching someone from the start.
- We Were Too Boring
We have to be more creative and entertaining. Girls don’t like talking to a robot with predictable and boring responses. It would be good for us to share our experiences – not just the ones that make us look good, but also the embarrassing, funny moments. Girls sometimes appreciate a guy who is not afraid of letting his ego down and is easygoing enough to laugh at himself.
- We Keep Talking About Ourselves
Sometimes, guys may be tempted to self-promote themselves to their prospective dates and unknowingly end up rambling about our accomplishments and experiences. I have learnt that that can be a major turn-off. Girls appreciate when people listen, so it is better to put in a conscious effort to balance between talking and listening as that it what makes a good conversation.
- We Were Trying to Be Someone Else
Again, girls have incredible bullshit meters and can tell when we are trying to pretend to be someone we’re not. The nicer ones will just tell you straight up that they are not interested while the others will probably continue to watch your shit-show before rejecting you. There is no point in trying to connect with someone if all we do is exaggerate about ourselves. We should just be our normal selves but at the same time show more sincerity.
On a final note, never jump into the relationship too soon, and always keep your eyes open. If you are into serious dating and looking for someone to settle down with, patience is key. Most importantly, take your time, and enjoy the process.
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